Thursday, 9 November 2017

Three Years Later


Back in September 2014, I entered UNISEL with the hope and determination to work hard for a first class honours because I really do not want to pay the RM30,000 PTPTN loan. The young naive me thought it is too much. Of course, right? It is RM30k! The biggest amount of money I ever owe to people during that time was only by hundreds. Where can I get RM30k? When will I finish settled the loan? The young naive Ecan panic thinking about the loan right after she decided to further her study in UNISEL.

Only now she realizes that it is totally acceptable to have that much loan to pay. You will have car loan, house loan and so on. So, the RM30k education loan is standard. In fact, other courses in other universities especially private uni costs a hell of a lot of money than my course in UNISEL. 

But now three years has passed. I have just attended my convocation ceremony four days ago, and I am now in the process of preparing all the documents to be sent to PTPTN to convert my RM30k loan into scholarship.

Say whaaatt..?

Hey three years ago Ecan, congratulations, three years later, which is now, you are officially a proud UNISEL graduate with a first class honours. Not only that, surprisingly, you also got the Best Student Award of Bachelor in Communication (Hons) Journalism, alhamdulillah. Good job babe! 

Awhh I couldn't be prouder. *pat on the back*.

I could not say three years passed so fast, as the world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. I suffered quite bad during these years. And when you're at the lowest point of your life, the heaviness, the burden you carry in your heart make life goes by so slow. Or at least it feels like it.

But it was not like I was counting the days to finish everything. I enjoyed the journey. Cherish the good times, and when the dark days came, I walk even more carefully so that I won't slipped. I remember grieving about the pain in my heart, praying it will heal fast in time. I remember saying that I could not wait to see what future has in store for me. But I do not remember feeling excited about leaving my university. I love UNISEL, really.

This is the place and the course I choose to study. This is where I spent three years of my life, experiencing life. Ups and downs, in love and heartbreak, Dean's Listed and not, healthy and sick, with companion and alone -- this place has witnessed everything I went through for the past three years.

I can say that I grew up (yall can see it too right? despite my blog link that I created six years ago -_- don't judge). All the pains trained me to be stronger, as I have no choice other than holding on. All the pains makes me appreciate the good times, and appreciate even the littlest thing in life. All the pains showed me how important it is to be good to everybody, because we do not know what they are facing at the moment. All the pains taught me to spread the love, because it is hard to survive when we feel like nobody cares. And all the pains taught me that some people just do not want to be helped, and it is okay to let them go.

Anyway, hey, I graduated, finally! The best feelings about this is witnessing all the tears, the pains and the struggles paid off. With a constant efforts and prayers, the care and supports from my loved ones, I made it. I hope you guys are proud of me.

So I finished another part of my life with flying colors. Next part is to secure a job. Welcome to adulthood, dear self. Now I need your prayers for my future undertakings. Doakan saya dapat kerja baik-baik dan Allah redha.

Oh, anyway, here's some tips that might help to score in university. (Click me!)


Wednesday, 19 April 2017

About Internship and Some Thoughts


Heyya there. So now, I just feel like blogging. Still do not know if I will finished this entry or it will also ended up in my draft like sooo many entries before. We'll see.

I miss blogging, sometimes. But I dont feel like sharing much lately. By lately I mean for these past few years lol. Plus it is easier to share everything on Instagram compared to blog. For those who've been reading my blog since before, you guys know how lazy I am to upload pictures in blog. I did, yes, few times but never as much as those famous bloggers who are sooo gigih edited and uploaded so many pictures in their blogs. You know you have to go thru tons of pictures before actually decided​ what to upload. Bapak gigih. But they're famous so all the effort taken makes sense lah. While for me myself, Instagram is much easier. You get to edit and upload it with caption all in one shot and the result will turn out much organized, and pretty. So yeahh Instagram it is. 

Oh btw before I continue, if you find any grammatical error or any misused words here feel free to tegur me or just please ignore it coz I am too lazy to check. Thank you!

So, what's up??

Well, first thing first, you guys have to know that, alhamdulillah, I've secured an internship placement at The Star media yeayy! If you have read the previous entry, you know that this is my last semester studying in UNISEL. I will be doing internship on the next semester. So for the past few weeks I have been searching for an internship placement from several media organizations (I'm taking journalism, fyi).

I've sent applications to ASTRO, TV Al Hijrah, Bernama and The Star. ASTRO said if I didn't get any response up until two weeks before my internship begin, that means I did not get it. I repeat, TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY INTERNSHIP BEGIN. In that two weeks I have to settle all the documents and whatnots, I have to find rental house nearby ASTRO, I have to decide if I need a car and some other stuffs... And that's if I got the offer. What if I don't? Searching for another internship placement or just accept The Star but then still kena cari rumah semua all in two weeks while struggling with final exam. So yeah, I just give it up.

For TV Al Hijrah and Bernama, well, currently their quota for internship placement are full. They said I can reapply in few more weeks. So, no thanks I dont have much time plus why trouble yourself when you already got a good offer, which is tadaaa The Star.! Wuhuu!

And you know what, only now I know that it is not as easy to choose where do you wanna do your internship. Before this, whenever our lecturers ask where we wanna do our internship, I will proudly said Bernama or TV Al Hijrah. I was never really sure where and I dont really know why I voted for these two. At that time I think well Bernama is the most basic (as far as I know) news agency in Malaysia, as the Reuters in England. Most of the other news agency sometimes will mentioned 'sources from Bernama' in their news so I assumed Bernama is the most reliable (like official) news agency in Malaysia (do I sound stupid?? I dont really know things I just dont know many things, this is only what I think.) For TV Al Hijrah, I think maybe it is because of their Islamic identity that makes me feel like this is where I should go. Feels like some connection in there. And of course because ummi says so. hehe. And as I said, both of these organizations rejected me. This is not only happened at me, but so do my friends by another organizations.

So that's what I am telling you, it is not easy to get an internship placement guys. And at time like this, we are just gonna take whatever we get. And so far, alhamdulillah, I believe Allah has given me the best place to intern. I consulted with Prof Azmuddin, our faculty dean, and he said what I get is good. I will have specialization (in property business unit), and for some reasons he also preferred newspaper organization than TV news. I also asked my lecturer whom I adore his thinking and personality, Sir Ismail (the one who asked me to write a book about our trip to Kazakhstan before, if you remember, that one book which is still 'under progress' until now heee), surpisingly he also think it is good to do property business there. In fact, he said it is very good and I am brave to take it.

Does that make me question my decision back? Yes it does. Hehe. But does it change my mind? Nope, it didn't. It actually make me feel even proud for always being so confident and believe in myself ( well not sure if Im gonna curse myself later for taking this but lets be positive and pray for me okay? hehe) Anyway, of course I have to do some revision to get myself familiar with all those jargon and the lenggok penulisan lah bak kata sir. I dont really know what I really want, but Allah sure knows everything. Inshaallah, this is the best for me. I have faith in this! 

Oh for the record, I AM NOT SAYING the other places for internship are not good. As I discussed with Abang Met last night, actually if I get general desk (rather than any specialized desk), it is sure will benefit me a lot since I will experience covering so many type of news. It is good to learn a lot of things as an internee, so later in my resume I can say I learned this and that. It is great to get to know many things rather than just focusing on only certain area. But it is okay, I am totally positive about what has given to me. Having specialization also sure has its own benefit . Well everything has pros and cons and in order to get something you sure will lose another things and that is just how life works. So yeah. 

I guess that's it for this entry. Actually I wanna talk more but let me stick to one topic in one entry. Inshaallah, next time (maybe next few months after I finished my internship considering how often I blog lately hehe), I will talk about anything else. 

Thank you for reading. I miss blogging, really. I am not sure if I still have my loyal reader like before (cewahhh?? kahkah but I swear I did have some before). But if any of you has read my blog since forever, I would like to say thank you and thank you sooo much. You make me feel appreciated and please, don't stop reading okay? Hehe. 


p/s : doakan kejayaan kita semua di dunia dan akhirat, okay?

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Halfway thru Final Year

 Assalamu'alaikum and hi

Today is the third day I am in semester eight. And this is my final semester being in the university. For next semester, (inshaallah) I will be interning in still only-God-knows-what company, and where. After two years and half in the university, with all the bittersweet memories, finally, I am going to leave it soon, guys. Awhh. Remember the first time I blogged about coming to UNISEL? And then giving information about UNISEL some more for new students to refer to. Gigih okay. Hehe. You can read them here if you want to. This one andd this one. Ada member (junior) yang baru masuk siap tegur "Ohh, blog hang ka tuu." Bhahaha. Famous mok, nokss. *insert tangan sotong menampar lembut bahu kawan sebelah here*

Okay, back to the main topic: I am going for internship in just few months!! Omg. Soo excited but scareddd. More to scared actually. My CGPA so far is so good. I am not worry about it. Wait no, still worry of course yesss I have to worry coz in just one semester I can messed up everything if buat halai balai. But inshaallah I can work on it to maintain or improve my CGPA. Positive and semangat as always, coz I know God will give me the best as I deserve.

But really, in the real working world, your good CGPA does not mean a thing if you cannot do the job. I learned in the classes, I practised, but still, I am scared. We got ample time to do the assignments in university. But in media industry, the competitiveness.. gosh. We are not living in the days where the news we wrote today will be published for tomorrow's newspaper anymore. Now is the new media time. Internet. Online news portal. It works 24/7. We have to be the first to break the news. Imagine working with the deadline like thatt. I can imagine the pressure. I know it's gonna be hard, but I have to face it. It's okay to be wrong, it's okay to make mistake, it's okay to kena marah. That's the process of learning anyway. I know I can do it because I always do if I want to. But what frightened me the most is the fact that my general knowledge is sucks! It really is. Can already imagined me being scolded by my editor for not knowing the menteri-menteri, the political stories, who did this and that, economic issues, sports etc. Huhu. I don't want to see the face of disappointment from them (the editor or whatnots) whenever I made mistakes. That's my weakness. I care a lot about what people think of me. And it can affect me real bad.

I know that this (being a reporter) is not what I want to be. Honestly. I never think of me, interview orang, kejar artis, kejar politician, and then balik tulis pasal tu. Like, that's it? That's my job? That's so not me. I don't talk much especially with new people. I am not so good in mingling around. I don't really care about others. Maybe I will get the passion of doing the reporting when I actually experience it later. I don't know. But for now, really, that is not what I want to be. I loveee studying journalism. I love being in this field. I love social science. I am proud to say I study journalism. But I still don't know exactly what I really want to be. If it is in the media, whether it is in broadcasting, newspaper reporter, magazine, radio?? I am still not sure. If not in the media industry, then what am I gonna be?

Journalism has the power of controlling people's mind. What we write/say, is what people are gonna talk about. We are the one who decide it. We can make people respected, and we can also bring people down. This is a really powerful field I am in, and I can use it to make the world a better place. But the responsibility that comes with it is also great. Like what my lecturer, Madam Azian, said before, journalist antara muka-muka yang beratur paling depan nak masuk neraka. What she meant to say is how big our responsibility is. The power we have, how are we gonna use it? Like phewwh.

By the way, I had surveyed few places for internship, and I am gonna send as many application as I can. Be it newspaper organization, TV, radio, mags. Just apply it all. From then only I can choose what is the best for me, But let say if I get all of them, and I have to choose now, I seriously don't know where to go just yet. Will spend these last few months to figure it out with the help of my lecturers and from my own reading. Pray for me, guys. Semoga apa pun yang dipilih still didalam redha Allah. Inshaallah.


P/S : URL blog ini akan ditukar kepada ecanfadhlina.blogspot.com anytime soon. Hope I don't lose you my loyal readers :)